I've lost

waterhalf5, originally uploaded by Lostfiniel.

The above picture was a submission of mine in a contest called "Underwater"

It was an illustration contest.

I lost. I came in the bottom half of the contest. The first place (or last time I looked anyway) was an entry that had an anime girl in a tight swimsuit and large breasts being pulled down through the water by a bunch of tentacles.

This is the second time I have entered a contest there. Both times I have gone into it believing that I would come out pretty well. Both times, I have been utterly dissapointed.

I know it probably doesn't speak very highly of my sense of humility. I certainly can't say that my reaction has been the most mature. But, I can't help but feel ostracized. Nobody has given me anything but highly positive comments. What did I do wrong?

Breaking the Boundaries

Breaking the Boundaries, originally uploaded by Lostfiniel.

I'm so hungry!

I am the new front desk supervisor at work. It is mostly official now. I've gone through daily and checked-over all of the reservations made through the front desk, I file, I make change from the safe, when Teresa needs some assistance with things like billing, I help out there.

I think the front desk mostly thinks of me as the supervisor now. I get notes left in my box (I have a box, just not with my name on it yet!) and Bridget has not yet hesitated to tell me of her requirements for scheduling.

This also means that I feel like I have a responsibility to try and help out my co-workers with things. Like, when Bridget says she has trouble getting into work on christmas night and could I switch with her? I have.

This is my first missed Christmas dinner.

Prime rib.

Juicy, succulent, wonderfully amazing.

And little biscuits. Oh my!

Variations and Themes on Jesus

Variations and Themes on Jesus, originally uploaded by Lostfiniel.

And so the holiday season draws us further into it's acidic stomach of festivity. (Does that sound poetic enough??)

I never know what to do about Christmas. I always start off fully believing that I will get into the spirit. I buy christmas cards early, I fill some out even! I usually get someone to go with me to go get a tree (the size diminishes each year.) I sometimes buy cookie dough and plan on making festive treats.

About halfway through I get sick of the whole thing.

The cards lay in my desk, the tree half-naked, the presents only partially bought and even less partially wrapped. Good luck making those cookies.

There are always excuses..."I got busy" "The money ran out" "I came down with a terrible cold" "I was busy planning the invasion of a small culture that has been evolving under my bed" But usually, it is just that I really, honestly don't like Christmas that much.

Every year that becomes more apparent. And this year I had Thomas' reasoning to further add to my dilemma. He is right, though, part of the problem of Christmas is the expectations. People EXPECT that you will get them something. Especially the people close to you. Now, don't get me wrong. I like my friends and family. I have no qualms about spending money on them. I just, don't like buying christmas presents.

I do, however, like things to take pictures of.

This is the most festive thing I have done in the last month.